Literary Pet Peeves

For my 25th birthday my mother gave me a copy of Lynn Truss's Eats, Shoots and Leaves, a book about common grammatical errors. It was written by a linguistic stickler for others who share a similar passion for proper grammar. It made my top list of favorite reads, not least of all because it pleases my inner anal retentive editor.

Given her taste in gifts, it should come as no surprise that my mother writes a weekly column for her local newspaper. She dedicates a closing paragraph each week to one "literary pet peeve." I helped brainstorm ideas, keeping Truss in mind, and my mother has included most of my suggestions in her column.

Since I was the mastermind behind most of those literary gems, why not include some of my favorites in a blog?

Pet Peeve: a minor annoyance that an individual identifies as particularly annoying to them, to a greater degree than others may find it.

That Wikipedia definition exemplifies one of the very literary pet peeves I'd like to list:

1) Using inconsistent pronouns in the same sentence.

• "Them" refers not to a single individual, but to a group of people with a minimum of two persons.
• The political correctness surrounding the usage of he/she frightens many writers into defaulting to a neutral description, often at the expense of grammatical accuracy.
  

2) Misuse of the apostrophe (').

• The biggest culprits are "its" and "it's." It's a common error, I realize, but it's really quite simple. "Its" is possessive, like "his" or "hers;" one does not write, "his's" or "her's." Conversely, "it's" is a contraction for "it is." Simple, eh?
• I used to work for a business whose graphic designer made a sign which read "Welcome to Belly Up. Box office located downstair's." The mental grammar sirens immediately blasted and I covertly told the owner. Unfortunately for me (fortunately for him, though), the sign was replaced with the correct use of the word 'downstairs' (sans possessive apostrophe) before I had a chance to photograph the evidence.
• Take caution with your apostrophes, or you may upset the hippo's...
  

3) The use of the word "irregardless" in any context.

• I have heard on several occasions, and even read on a few, sentences beginning the the following fashion: "Irregardless of the fact..." or something along those lines.
  
• The accurate segues include "regardless" or "irrespective."
  
• Somewhere along literary path, the two correct usages merged, creating the illegitimate misnomer which has become the commonly accepted, though ultimately incorrect, irregardless.
• Even writing the extra two letters makes me cringe.
  

4) Saying "for all intensive purposes" in lieu of the correct "for all intents and purposes."

• This may sound odd, but I have heard it on more than one occasion. In fact, and I admit this reluctantly, I uttered the improper form of the expression well into my teen years.
  
• I recently discovered via Facebook that a high school crony also made the same mistake.
  
• Our mutual friend noted this and asked, "what, dare I ask, did you think was an intensive purpose, anyway?" We offered similar sheepish responses: a shrug, a grin and, "I dunno, a really, really intense purpose?"
• As far as I know, there is no such thing as an intensive purpose.
  

5) Replacing "it's a dog eat dog world" with "it's a doggie-dog world."

• "Dog eat dog world" refers to the animal-like instincts of humans, who often hurt others for their own interests (not unlike dogs, at times).
  
• I don't know what "doggie-dog" means, if anything, but I'm fairly certain that this malapropism emerged before the popularity of Snoop Doggy Dogg.

These examples hardly scratch the surface of daily misuse of the English language. In fact, an entire blog could be dedicated to literary pet peeves!

In the meantime, do yourself a favor: pick up a copy of Eats, Shoots and Leaves, if you haven't done so already, and get better acquainted with the rules, even if you break them. Especially if you break them.

October Opportunities Abound in Aspen

***NOTE: Written as an affiliate blog for The Aspen Daily News, a local newspaper in Aspen, CO. It is directed specifically at Aspen locals, part-time residents and visitors who stay abreast of local news.***
This week's unseasonably frigid climate and early snowfall, both in town and on the mountaintops, have created an environment more fitting for the winter rush than the autumn off season.

However, at a base elevation of nearly 8,000 ft., any weather should be expected at any time of year. A few years ago, I awoke on my birthday to a fleeting snowstorm--and my birthday is in JUNE! By the time I headed to Matsuhisa for dinner, the snow had melted and summer began chirping again. The adage rings true: "if you don't like the weather in Colorado, wait 10 minutes."

Despite the climate mood swings, October is a favorite month for many locals. The tourists go home until the ski season officially starts, the town's population shrinks to its normal size of 5,800 residents, the pandemonium of Ruggerfest has finally passed and finding parking spots around town is much less of a nightmare (not to mention free on Columbus Day!).

The quiet off season, which begins around Labor Day and continues until the ski slopes open on Thanksgiving, grants full-time Aspenites some down time, tourist-free fun and bargains at local businesses. October in Aspen is the calm before the winter storm.


Several restaurants close for the autumn months, but most of those that remain open for business offer deals for locals. The off season is famous for its prix fixe specials: the cost of some three-course meals this time of year is comparable to that of an appetizer and drink during the height of winter or summer madness. The set menus range in price from $29 to $40 and are offered until late-November. This season's prix fixe options include:

• American: Elevation, LuLu Wilson and Rustique
  
• Asian: Asie and Takah Sushi
• French: Cache Cache
• Fusion: 39 Degrees (at The Sky Hotel) and Pinons (reservations required via phone)
  
• Mediterranean: Wild Fig
  
• Seafood/Pacific Rim: Pacifica

If the prix fixe deals are old news, then some newer options may be more appealing. Kenichi and its sister establishment, Bad Billy's Restaurant and Bar, have added a third member to the family, Noodles by Kenichi, which recently opened in the revamped Ute City Plaza. Also, Gisella is the town's newest Italian restaurant, which opened over the summer, replacing the former local fixture, Gusto Ristorante.

Extended happy hours, drink specials and other discounts are more common this time of year around town and throughout the Roaring Fork Valley. Each restaurant has its own stipulations and seasonal hours, so read the fine print carefully.

Food and entertainment go hand in hand, even after the dust settles. Despite the autumn quietude, various local venues offer a multitude of after dinner outings.

• The Wheeler Opera House is open throughout the season, offering a series of John Denver Tribute concerts during the holiday weekend (10/9-10/11)
• Jimmy's is open nightly for food and drinks and its dining room is cleared out for Salsa Night dancing every Saturday into the wee hours of morn. It reopens the following morning at 11am to air NFL games.
  
• Belly Up offers an eclectic mix of live music, parties, and football and movies on the big screen. The venue is open every night this month, except for one, which could get booked soon, given owner Michael Goldberg's intention to keep the club open 7 nights per week.

October reaches its apex on Hallowe'en, when masked partygoers come out of the woodwork for one last hurrah before the stillness of November envelopes the town.


Veteran costumed Aspenites know the drill, but for the neophytes:

• Costume party at La Cantina starts off the night
• Members-only Caribou Club opens its doors to the public at least this one night a year
• Club Chelsea throws an annual Halloween party and offers tickets online or at the door
• Eric's Club boasts its usual late night debauchery, rife with two bars, a pool hall and cigar room
  
• Danger Kitty, a campy '80s cover band, has performed a sold out show at Belly Up (max. capacity 450) on Halloween every year, since the club opened in 2005, and judged the $1000 costume contest. However, they are playing on Friday the 30th this year. For a break in tradition, Julian and Stephan Marley will play on the 31st.
  

Between foliage hikes and biking trips to Moab, Aspenites can squeeze in affordable fun without leaving town this off season. They just have to venture out and brave the unseasonably harsh elements before winter hits.