Friday, January 15, 2010

Everything is Broken

Broken bottles broken plates
Broken switches broken gates
Broken dishes broken parts
Streets are filled with broken hearts
Broken words never meant to be spoken
Everything is broken.

Seem like every time you stop and turn around
Something else just hit the ground
Broken cutters broken saws
Broken buckles broken laws
Broken bodies broken bones
Broken voices on broken phones
Take a deep breath feel like you're chokin'
Everything is broken.



The whirlwind of events over the past couple of months has left me in the wake of broken, lost and misplaced pieces of my life; literal and figurative pieces of physical, emotional and mental destruction. To dispel any doubt, I'm leaving no stone unturned; hence, the truncated Dylan lyrics.

In the midst of crisis lies the seed for opportunity. Or something. Isn't that what the ancient Chinese proverb teaches us, anyway?

That said, I have been granted no dearth of opportunity to put on my big girl panties and deal with it lately. In this case, 'it' encapsulates several components, which include, but are not limited to:
  • A broken digital camera
  • Lifeless laptop
  • Random broken household items, adding up to a rather costly TO DO list
  • The dissolution of my relationship with my live-in boyfriend
  • Extensive car damage, resulting from a fire on my turbo (which sounds naughty, but I assure you, it's been more frustrating, time-consuming and costly than anything else...)
Yes, I know that millions of Haitians could trump my Saab story with their own tales of lost loved ones, destroyed homes, demolished businesses, hunger, dehydration, lack of basic necessities...


I also know that there was a BUT point to make here, but now I've lost track of what that was.

Oh yah...and the devastating earthquake of Port-au-Prince compounded my January melancholia as I read headlines in a constant state of horror.

But, I mean, this IS about me, so let's get back on track, shall we?

My mother attributes this recent winter 'one step forward, 5 steps back' phenomenon to the stars. No, not Hollywood; the OTHER ones. You know, the zodiac. Apparently, mercury has been retrograde for some time now, affecting most saliently the signs ruled by that slippery planet.

There can't be THAT many Virgos and Geminis in Haiti...

Whatever the reason--astrology, karma, negative thoughts, mischievous deities, fate, destiny, free will, old fashioned back luck, none or all of the above, or something completely different--brokenness abounds.

The first two dictionary definitions of "broken" include:
  • Forcibly separated into two or more pieces; fractured.
  • Sundered by divorce, separation, or desertion.
Check.
Check.
CHECK.CHECK.CHECK!

But, pieces can be Gorilla Glued back together; fractures heal; new relationships arise from the ashes of divorce; separation allows for introspection; desertion....well, I'm not sure what good comes from desertion, but it must proffer some opportunity for growth. I'll think of something.

Things break; and they usually break OPEN. Even if it feels like Pandora's Box, the process invokes change, facilitating personal development and all of that encouraging therapy jargon.

Right?

So, why does the process feel so TERRIBLE?

We no doubt do it to ourselves.

My only advice is to JUST STOP. Stop fighting the current and enjoy the ride downstream.

Cameras, laptops, businesses, boyfriends, even engines...can all be fixed, replaced or released.

Or all of the above.