Engrish Brog

I was living in Montreal when my sister emailed me the link to Engrish.com, a website dedicated to real sightings of incorrect and/or humorous English translations, primarily in East Asia.

Since I was a student in a bi-lingual (French and English, although Montreal is a de facto polyglot), multicultural, cosmopolitan city, I had been acquainted with the entertainment and occasional frustration of language barriers. However, most Quebecois ideas lost in translation differ from those rampant across the Asian continent.

• Francophones make adorable references to things placed next to one another being "side by each." It resembles the anglo "side by side" enough that the similarity is endearing.
• They make up cultural dishes with names like poutine, which would make anyone else in the world cringe.
  
• The French word for "seal" always makes my dirty little mind chuckle, though.

Not unlike les francais themselves, their linguistic differences exude a certain--uh, no, not je ne sais quoi-- but a subtlety and delicacy which can be overlooked and excused with a sideways glance and slight smile. The charming inaccuracies simply add to their appeal.

However, on the other side of the globe, even the low-key mistakes appear in neon pink, usually on Hell(o) Kitty stationary. Like the crosswalk in Tokyo's Shibuya or a marketplace in Beijing, the Engrish transrations are an assault on the senses.

• Cantonese menus leave me in stitches, not to mention curious about my questionable culinary options.
• Cambodian instructions in English confuse me to the point that I'd possibly better understand the ones written in Khmer.
• The fact that 'fuk' is even a word in Mandarin makes itself an easy target for juvenile westerners with potty mouths such as myself.
• Japanese t-shirts boast poetic lines--sometimes entire novellas?--which, by the time the reader reaches the end of the story, realizes that there is no verb! And I thought that I was long-winded...
  

And sometimes I just see things like this and think, 'WTF?!'

Make no mistake, despite these observations, I am not an ethnocentric imperialist who is trying to exploit the westernization of the eastern hemisphere. Nor am I attempting to deconstruct the finer points of globalization and life among the subaltern. I have read Edward Said's Orientalism and my intentions are far less ambitious or lofty in nature.

As a traveling American, I cannot poke too much fun without admitting my own ignorance. After five years in La Belle Province, zee French still insist on speaking anglais avec moi because my attempts at their language are, at best, botched. At worst, offensive; hey, I just wanted to know about the baby seal...

Furthermore, after 2 years in Japan and trekking around Southeast Asia, my communication abilities stop short at truncated sentences, inaccurate conjugations, excited hand gestures, body language and a sheepish grin.

I pondered offering my services as an editor for local businesses, correcting the misuse of English. Is that self-righteous? I mean, I was a visitor, albeit a long term one, in their country, telling them how to spell properly. Then again, I would want to know if the Chinese character for "truth" that I thought I was getting tattooed on my arm was really the symbol for "duck." Hey, it has been known to happen. Most Americans don't know one from the other. I certainly don't.

I giggled when my former students would tell me about the "big political erection" in Tokyo or insist that they were "very boring" at work that day. However, I have no idea how to write the word election (or erection, for that matter) in kanji. In fact, I can't even tell you who the new prime minister of Japan is! I'm sure that the erection was huge, though...


Since I no longer enjoy the day to day culture shock and translations firsthand, I vicariously rely on Engrish.com. It never fails to cheer me up, or at least invoke a knowing giggle.